Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Unite Rather than Divide

I recently got caught talking about someone else. The someone else "caught" me not by "over-hearing" me but by saying something judgmental about me. At least they said it to my face.

In my spiritual program, Al Anon, we don't talk about other people; we talk about "principles not personalities." Even if I love what so-and-so said and it's my new mantra for living, I don't say "I love what so-and-so said!" I say "I like what was said about..."

I think we get tempted to talk about other people because we feel like it connects us to the person we're talking to. The meditation book Hope for Today taught me, "Not only do we avoid focusing on ourselves when we gossip, but our disrespect for others reinforces self-defeating attitudes about relationships."

Life is hard enough on its own, I know I can be hard enough on myself, I don't need help. Sarah Varcus says in this week's Full Moon update, "There’s a fair bit of tension around and many will be feeling it, so cutting each other (and ourselves) some serious slack is good advice! If possible, avoid heated topics of debate and focus on things that unite rather than divide, otherwise it may be all too easy to slip into overzealous championing of our own perspective without any due consideration of someone else’s view."

Criticism and judgments take us further away from love, plain and simple. If we can try to be kind to ourselves, it will be so much easier to be kind to those around us, plain and simple.

No comments:

Post a Comment