Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Unite Rather than Divide

I recently got caught talking about someone else. The someone else "caught" me not by "over-hearing" me but by saying something judgmental about me. At least they said it to my face.

In my spiritual program, Al Anon, we don't talk about other people; we talk about "principles not personalities." Even if I love what so-and-so said and it's my new mantra for living, I don't say "I love what so-and-so said!" I say "I like what was said about..."

I think we get tempted to talk about other people because we feel like it connects us to the person we're talking to. The meditation book Hope for Today taught me, "Not only do we avoid focusing on ourselves when we gossip, but our disrespect for others reinforces self-defeating attitudes about relationships."

Life is hard enough on its own, I know I can be hard enough on myself, I don't need help. Sarah Varcus says in this week's Full Moon update, "There’s a fair bit of tension around and many will be feeling it, so cutting each other (and ourselves) some serious slack is good advice! If possible, avoid heated topics of debate and focus on things that unite rather than divide, otherwise it may be all too easy to slip into overzealous championing of our own perspective without any due consideration of someone else’s view."

Criticism and judgments take us further away from love, plain and simple. If we can try to be kind to ourselves, it will be so much easier to be kind to those around us, plain and simple.

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Young-ish Buck

Recently, I was talking with a client of mine about timing. He noticed he had to change his appointments a few times because his schedule had shifted. He also noticed the day he actually did come in for his B.E.S.T. seemed to be a day when he really "needed" one. These days, I trust little shifts and big shifts out of my control are happening for a reason and I believe that trust is part of what places me in "right" place and "right" time.

Over the past few weeks, on two different occasions, I've seen two "mature" bucks. And the long list in my mind remembered to look up deer in Animal Speak. I got around to it yesterday and, naturally, the deer's message is needed now more than ever.

Sometimes people say recovery should be called "un-covery." In recovery, I have looked long and hard at parts of myself that are operating from fear and I've tried to hook them back into faith. And I've had a lot of success. I missed a part though, and somehow this summer has uncovered it. Looking at it has been haaaaaaard and to make matters worse, I've been really hard on myself about it.

"When deer show up in your life it is time to be gentle with yourself and others. A new innocence and freshness is about to be awakened or born. There is going to be a gentle, enticing lure of new adventures. Ask yourself important questions. Are you trying to force things? Are others? Are you being too critical and uncaring of yourself? When deer show up there is an opportunity to express gentle love that will open new doors to adventure for you."

Or as a dear friend said yesterday, "be nice to the part of yourself that's being mean to yourself."