Tuesday, August 25, 2015
Part of the opening reading in Al Anon talks about the way one might feel without the Spiritual Help that Al Anon offers: "Our thinking becomes distorted by trying to force solutions, and we become irritable and unreasonable without knowing it."
Today, I was early to an appointment and sitting in my hot car, with the air conditioning on, going over some notes, and becoming more irritable by the minute. I turned off the car and opened the door thinking what I really needed was fresh air. That didn't seem to help, I abandoned my notes, got out of the car and sat under a shady portal until it was time. The under-the-portal-move helped a little.
After the appointment, I hurried to lunch, barely conscious of how contentious I'd become. Sitting down to eat I realized I was super hungry and that I'd been hungry for a while, yep, probably since I was all unhappy in the car.
Geneen Roth, eating-disorder-be-gone-guru, is responsible for connecting my eating with my Higher Power. It may sound crazy, but the more I'm connected with myself and even to God while I'm eating, the more likely I am to eat what I want when I want, and stop when I'm full. For years I had lots of eating rules, and as the saying goes, "old habits die hard." For reals my rules are a thing of the past, but every once in a while, I don't eat when I'm hungry because I have some sort of weird-not-true-totally-made-up-belief that I'm not "supposed to be hungry" until... lunchtime, or after 6, or after I've excericed.
I was exasperated earlier today because I was trying to control something that is out of my control: my very own hunger. I'll bet ya next time I get testy it's cuz I'm trying to control something that's out-of-my-control. Hopefully next time I'll have the insight to ask myself, "What am I trying to control?" And to bring snacks.
Posted by Ashleigh Beyer at 12:47 PM
Friday, August 21, 2015
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
For reals, I am so grateful to those few weeks I spent living with mice. I am much more aware of the big picture in lots of areas of my life and it is such a relief. The lesson I learned from having mice and looking into their totem has re-committed me to looking up animals when they show up wholeheartedly. Until yesterday when I got stung by a wasp--ouch! And I said some other bad words too. Mr. Andrews of Animal Speak doesn't have too much to say about wasps, and looking them up online wasn't terribly fruitful either. One word that did stick out to me though was evolution. In Al Anon I have learned not to compare myself to other people but to compare myself to how I used to be. And not to be too hard on who I used to be; I didn't know then what I know now.
Posted by Ashleigh Beyer at 2:42 PM
Friday, August 14, 2015
I've genuinely worked on getting clear in my communication around money. I have many different clients and businesses that pay me for my work. Because often in my work it's just me and one other person who's paying me, I like be sensitive to others while having strong boundaries. Some clients don't mind paying me every time they see me, some would prefer to pay for a package of sessions so we don't have to do the money part every time. The other day a client paying for a package accidentally wrote the check out for less than they usually do. Problem easily solved. We'll just say this time they're buying fewer sessions. But when I noticed the amount the check was made out for, much later in the day, I got nervous. There was no reason to be nervous, but I did want to be conscientious in my text to my client about my solution to the problem. I sat with the words I wanted to say a bit and had the thought, "What if I treated this communication (or every communication) like a prayer?" I can be clear in my hopes and in the words I use to ask and then let go, just like a prayer.
Posted by Ashleigh Beyer at 2:38 PM
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
I just re-read a tipandtrick from almost 2 years ago about how I was letting the Restorative Yoga Teacher Training I was in change me, and boy has it. I have slowed down my personal practice, I teach a lot more restorative yoga, very happily, and I'm better about taking naps if I'm tired.
Last week on a walk with Smokey, out of nowhere, a small brown dog with a skinny body and a curly tail started following us. Smokey's really cool about other dogs, usually he can take 'em or leave 'em, but this dog seemed to be getting on his nerves. Looking at the situation a little closer, I noticed the dog was un-neutered. He kept following us, Smokey kept not liking it, and in my big girl voice I said, "No!" and "Git!" The dog got distracted by a man jogging with two dogs on a leash, but was back on our behind just as we were rounding the corner home. After I filled Smokey's food and water, the dog was still on the other side of the fence, egging Smokey on.
"This will not stand," I thought. I grabbed a hose attachment off Mike's porch and came out swinging with my big girl voice fully in tact. The un-neutred dog got my message to "git," and finally got. The whole exchange, although frustrating at times, was hilarious to me, even while it was happening. I'm still a nice lady, my favorite chant is still "Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu," I'm still vegan (except for the occasional times I don't ask the restaurant if there's dairy in the salad dressing) and I care, sometimes more than I should, about the feelings of other animals and humans. AND this is the wild wild west and un-neutered dogs make it tricky, and don't F--- with Smokey.
Posted by Ashleigh Beyer at 5:05 PM
Friday, August 7, 2015
"Remind me each day that the race is not always to be swift; that there is more to life than increasing its speed. Let me look upward into the towering oak and know that it grew great and strong because it grew slowly and well." --Orin L. Crain
Posted by Ashleigh Beyer at 6:27 AM