Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Talking A Walk

I've been having some feelings of guilt lately about a relationship that I was in that dissolved. I've been seeing my part in the dissolution in a new light and feeling sorry for my contribution.

Recently, I was in a situation that I just needed a little break from. I had started to feel frustrated, but there wasn't really anything I felt frustrated about; I was feeling separated from myself. Somehow, I had the insight to just take a break from the scene, and I took a short walk. I even had a real-life excuse for my walk: I had to go feed the parking meter. My walk and my parking meter feed lasted 15 minutes or less and it was exactly what I needed to reconnect with myself and to feel centered.

When I was talking to my teacher Jen this morning, I told her about my feelings of guilt and, even though it didn't seem that important, I told her about my little walk. "There's nothing you need to feel guilty about," she said. Jen talked about how, "hanging in there," and "sticking with it," even past the point of comfort is what's rewarded in our culture. And she reminded me to not be so hard on myself. "You're just taking a walk away from that person right now, maybe someday you'll walk back, and maybe you won't."

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