Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Not in Any Way Related to Being a Responsible Adult



Have I ever told you guys about the mail in Taos? Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, and sometimes it just takes an extra long time. Three times now, mail, on its way to me, with money in it, did not make it.

A few weeks back, I was expecting a check in the mail and it was taking a lot longer than I thought it would. I stopped at my mailbox early one morning to see if it had arrived, it hadn't. I worried about it for a few blocks and then something else grabbed my attention. After spacing out about whatever the other thing was, I straight up had the thought: "Wasn't I worrying about something?" I remembered that I had been worrying about whether or not that check was going to come, or if it had been lost forever, and just before I started to worry about it some more, I decided to cut myself off.

I'm learning in Al Anon that some of us feel more normal, or more in control of things we are not in control of, when worrying. I'm also learning that feeling more in control of what we are not in control of, is an illusion. And that worrying never ever does any good, ever. It is a waste of energy, a drain on personal power and not in any way related to being a responsible adult.

Just like how some folks have to cut themselves off from having another drink, some folks have to cut themselves off from over-thinking, worrying and obsessing. Easier said than done. But just like anything else, it gets easier with practice. Sometimes to stop myself from worrying, I take an action step towards a goal of mine. Sometimes I need to spend time with spirit; sitting at my altar, pulling a few tarot cards, doing savasana, or going for a hike. Sometimes, I plain old pray.

Praying, taking action steps, even doing savasana, never feel like an energy drain, indeed, they bolster my sense of personal power.

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