This morning I taught a special extended version of my Friday morning class to honor the continuing practice of gratitude. I made a special playlist for it, which I forgot to synch to my phone, thus I had to use an old playlist. For whatever reason, this disappointed me so much that I struggled throughout the whole class to forgive myself, get over the awesome playlist I made, and be present. Thankfully, I was teaching presence which kept reminding me to be present.
Towards the end of class, I taught a gratitude meditation that I had adapted from a teacher named Davidji. During the meditation, I asked everyone to "bring awareness to your expansion, your perspective shifts, your ability to see growth and potential."
Very thankfully, I've been bringing my awareness to that stuff a lot lately. Just yesterday, I was reminded of Thanksgiving three years ago, my first in Taos. I had been totally stressed out about making food to bring to the gathering I was invited to. I had "cooked" a total of about 3 hours in my whole life before I moved here. I was anxious about the guacamole, I felt frazzled making hummus. Yesterday, without any angst, I made two pies from scratch, a shepherd's pie for the entree and a sweet potato pie for dessert.
I had high hopes the sweet potato one would be beautiful, and that I'd take a picture for Instagram and every other vegan celebrator on Insta would LOVE it. The pie wasn't pretty, not even attractive, but it tasted great. We're talking progress not perfection.
Reading from my meditation notes this morning, I felt 'the teachings I was teaching teaching me.' Just like A Course in Miracles says, "Do not forget that what you teach is teaching you."