A few weeks ago, I heard this super smart lady talk about the term "take offense." She said it implies that in order to be offended, she has to decide to "take" offense.
Yesterday, I texted someone a question and while I was texting, I asked myself, "If they say 'no,' will my feelings get hurt?" Then I realized it was up to me, and decided that it wouldn't. I even wrote in the text to them, "If you say no, I won't get my feelings hurt." Nope, I'm not going to get my feelings hurt, at least this one time. And maybe next time too. It's up to me; what a relief.