Friday, May 30, 2014

May 9th "Trust Each Step"

"Stay present for each step of your journey. We don't go from one place to another in a gigantic leap. We get there in increments, by going through each feeling, each belief, each experience one step at a time.

Sometimes when we pray for miracles, what we're really praying for is help in skipping steps, for shortcuts. The simple act of acceptance, of returning to each step on our path, can often bring us the miracle we need. Then we see the truth. The real miracle is one always available to each of us: it's the miracle of acceptance. We can go where we want to go, one step at a time.

Stay present for each step of your journey.
Trust each stage.
Many things are possible for you if you accept
that the fastest way is one step at a time."

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Snakes Don't Have Eyelids

In another unprecedented turn of events, I did not have any clients today after my 9:30. Smokey and I decided we wanted to see the river. It's been raining a lot here lately and sure enough, the river was flow-ing. On our way home, right there in the middle of the Hondo-Seco road, was a huge snake, just laying there. I didn't see it until I was already upon it, all I could do was my best to drive so that my tires were on either side of it. I looked back through my rear-view mirror at it and it still hadn't moved. "Gosh, I sure hope it's okay," I thought. Smokey never even noticed it.

I was the only girl I knew when I was little who wasn't afraid of snakes. I was so unafraid of snakes that I wanted to have one as a pet. For some strange reason, my mom let me get one. Although I didn't have her for long, I loved my snake. She was so pretty, I named her Cherry, Cherry for her beauty, but also for the color of her gorgeous red eyes. I learned then that snakes don't have eyelids, which I forgot until today. Holy crap! Snakes don't have eyelids!

I am in the process of getting contact lenses. So far, I've been too scared to take the dang things out of my eyes and too scared to put them back in. I love closing my eyes, they often feel tired and sensitive; I really love closing my eyes when there's a finger or two heading right towards them.

According to Animal Speak, snakes mean a lot of different things: they're controversial, and "Religious sources argue over whether [the snake] is the symbol of the higher or the lower." Snakes eyes, however are not unprotected, despite their lack of eyelids. Supposedly, their eyes have transparent scales over them, sometimes called "spectacles;" like contacts! Oh my gosh you guys! Maybe I can do this!

I remember a homework assignment I had during prenatal yoga teacher training. The training was at a lovely center in Massachusetts called Kripalu. Kripalu had a big hot tub in the basement and right next to it, a cold tub. One night it was our homework to get all warm and cozy in the hot tub and then jump into the cold tub. I would have never done such a thing if it wasn't assigned to me, but turns out it wasn't so bad. What the heck does getting in the cold tub have to do with teaching pregnant ladies how to move and breathe? It's a reminder that it's all just sensation. The cold-dunk is a sensation, the light pinching required to take contacts out, is just a sensation and the feelings associated with childbirth, those feelings are also just sensation. (Great job everybody who's ever given birth to a baby!) What trips us up and gets us stuck is when we attach to the sensation.

I sure have been feeling tripped-up and stuck around this contacts thing. It's good to be reminded I was the only little girl I knew who wasn't afraid of snakes.

Friday, May 23, 2014

In the End

"We cannot tell what may happen in this strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us--how we can take it, what we do with it--and that is what really counts in the end." --Joseph Fort Newton

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Big Horn Sheep Medicine

The other day, Doug and I went to Ojo together to hold an interview class for a new teacher. I made a big announcement that I would drive; sweet Doug always drives, it was my turn and we took my car. When all was said and done, I was so tired, like could have fallen asleep right then and there. Doug said he would drive us back and I let him; it's good for me to be present, to not always stick to my word, and to accept help.

When we were almost home, just after we had gone over the Gorge Bridge, there was a huge herd of big horn sheep, right there by the road! It thrilled me Doug was driving, if I had been, I probably wouldn't have seen them through my tiredness.

It is a total boon to see big horn sheep, especially in the springtime; they represent new beginnings. According to Animal Speak, "If the ram has come into your life, do some examination--but don't take too long with it. It is usually an indication of a time to make some new beginnings, to initiate new endeavors--rather than to just think about it. Are you acting on your ideas or are you just talking about them? When the ram shows up, it will teach you to bring forth the powers of the mind and imagination and use them to seek out new heights and new adventures."

Can I get an amen to the question "Are you acting on your ideas or are you just talking about them?" I have been talking about having my own office for pretty much my whole life and the opportunity is finally here. My dear friend Kyoko is expanding her business, and starting next month, I can rent an office there. Of course I'm nervous: my monthly overhead is about to increase. Every time someone asks me how my B.E.S.T. practice is, I say I want it to get bigger and I know it will as soon as I move into an office. If that wasn't true to begin with, I've said it so many times, it's the truth now. 

Thank you for the encouragement, big horn sheep.

Friday, May 16, 2014

"Relax, Nothing is Under Control."

The other day, when my neighbor was over, she asked me to show her the dress I wore to officiate my friends' wedding. I reached into the closet to get it out and it wasn't there. "Ohmygosh," I thought, and I began to panic. I thought I lost it...but then I remembered that it was at the fancy dry cleaners in Santa Fe.

Usually, I remember these things sooner. In general, I'm pretty good at knowing where my stuff is.

But not lately. Recently, the post office has been returning paychecks to one of my employers, even though my address is written correctly on the envelope. I left my favorite scarf at my client's house, I found a typo in my latest piece for Vapour, Conoco charged my debit card twice when I only got gas once, and the lady who's fixing the zipper on my favorite hoodie is never in her shop when I go by to pick it up.

When I even think about trying to keep track of all of this stuff, let alone manage it, in addition to all of the other parts of my life, I get overwhelmed. "Relax, nothing is under control," may not be the best reminder for everyone all the time, but it pretty much always is for me. All I can do is my best, and then, all I can do is let go

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Not Made With Hands

"Every now and again take a look at something not made with hands--a mountain, a star, the turn of the stream. There will come to you a wisdom and patience and solace and, above all, the assurance that you are not alone in the world." --Sidney Lovett

Friday, May 9, 2014

To Make Light

Darn it all to heck, the other day, an acquaintance of mine asked me out on a date--via text. Darn darn darn. I would much rather not deal with this kind of thing.

It would have been my impulse in the past to call him back and be all serious, "I'm so sorry, I know this is awkward, but I'm not interested, I have a boyfriend. I hope it will still be cool when we run in to each other again. Thanks. Bye." Ahhhh, I would have been so scared; afraid to hurt his feelings. But thanks to my teacher Jen, I've learned to keep it light. I don't have to explain myself, actually, I don't even have to use very many words; if I'm comfortable, he has a chance at being comfortable too.

I did call him back, rather than text, I wanted him to hear my voice, being nice, making light of it. This is no big deal: "Thank you so much for asking. I have a boyfriend. Hope you're having a great day. See you soon." Not so scary. 

If you must know, I'm super into sound healing right now. We have all these great sound healers here in town and I love going to Gong Journeys and the Crystal Bowl Sound Baths. Last night, at the Sound Bath, Jvala led us through a meditation turning the area of our crown and down through our spine into light, pure golden light. That imaging translates to relaxation and to relax the spine and all of the nerves around is a very powerful practice.

I can make light. And so can you.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Zooming Out

One of my favorite things in life is my audio subscription to The New Yorker. It gets delivered to the Audible App on my phone every Wednesday, and I relish the next long drive I take. Listening to it is so fun. I feel good about myself when I listen to it in its entirety. The articles are often long and cover their subject extensively. Sometimes, however, there's an article that I just can't get into so I skip to the next one.

My whole world opened up when I read Cheryl Richardson's book, The Art of Extreme Self Care. She lists "not finishing a book you're not interested in" as a part of self-care. Before becoming aware of Richardson's perspective, I often finished books just because I had started them; and to be honest, sometimes I still feel a little guilty when I skip ahead in my Audible New Yorker.

Recently I've realized that I never remember the article that I skip. The guilt that I feel is so fleeting; I'm not regretful for not having spent more time listening to something that doesn't interest me.

The other day, Mike and I were talking about "zooming out." Imagining your life from farther away or in the future can be a real help when trying to weigh priorities or make a decision. Asking yourself what you think you will remember in 10 years or what you will be happy that you did today 10 years from now can give you perspective. Sometimes the answer is to go out, but sometimes the answer is to stay home and study. 

I can't say I've ever found myself, 10 years later, wishing I had finished that book I wasn't particularly enjoying. Someone once said, "don't sweat the small stuff." I think they were right.

Friday, May 2, 2014

Back in NY Altar #2

"If you don’t have time to meditate for 15 minutes …
Then you need to meditate for an hour." --Zen Proverb