Tuesday, February 11, 2014

More Open Questions



One time I was talking to my neighbor Raven about being in relationship; we agreed it's important not to need the other person to be ok in order for you to be ok. This comes naturally to lots of folks and not so naturally to lots of other folks.

It's subtle, but asking more open questions helps. I'll ask "How was your day?" rather than "Did you have a good day?" "How is the weather there?" versus "Is it beautiful?" This way the person I'm in conversation with can answer my question on their terms, rather than on mine.

The other day, a lady who had never taken my class before asked me how long I had been teaching for, "Do you love it?" she asked. "I am grateful for it," I said. She looked at me surprised, and then it seemed her enthusiasm level dropped.

For me, it's hard enough not to have expectations about what my day should look like and how I want to feel; I'm going to do my best not to have expectations about other people's days and feelings too.

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