A while back when I was experiencing some pretty overwhelming anxiety for a few days straight, a shift happened in my teaching. It was morning in the yurt at Ojo and there were probably only 2 or 3 students in my class. The first class at Ojo is called "Mindful Mornings," which I interpret as an easy and meditative start to the day, so we were keeping it mellow. On that particular day it felt like I was talking to myself more than talking to my students, kinda coaxing myself to settle down and to breathe into my belly.
It's not as though I wasn't paying attention to the others in the room; I was just open in a new way to receiving the medicine of the yoga I was teaching--instead of trying to control it to get students to do certain things to feel certain ways.
A few days later at my breathwork session, Malthide called what I've heard referred to as my "Higher Self," my "Healer Self." Then my Al-Anon book picked right up where Mathilde left off on the very next day. I read, "So it's in my best interest to treat others as I wish to be treated. I try to imagine that my words and actions are being addressed to myself, because in the long run, I generally get back what I give out."
Don't get me wrong, I don't have all the kinks worked out. Sometimes someone comes to class who doesn't know where their shin bone is, which is confusing, because I do know where my shin bone is (thank goodness!), and the other day for the first time since I don't know when, some lady told me she couldn't hear me.
Kinks present, this Healer Self feels good, like another layer of my control leaving, like me being soothed by soothing. Soother: soothed, Healer: Self.