Friday, September 27, 2013

A Good Day for Practice

Sometimes I love those mornings when I've had too much coffee or I'm running late or I didn't have time to meditate. On those days the rest of my day becomes my practice because I need it.

Not sure if love is the word I would use to describe my feelings towards this morning however. Within the first five minutes of being awake, I found out my best friend's mother died unexpectedly yesterday.

After talking to my best friend, I overwhelmed myself by thinking of all of the things I should or could do for her. Should I fly to New Hampshire right now to be with her? Should I cancel my day and pray? Could I skip this week's work to do that? Does she even want me to?

I opened to today's date in Courage to Change, and there was my answer, so simple and clear:

"'If only I had infinite wisdom,' I secretly think. 'If only I could see everything before me, a clear path, the knowledge of how I must spend each moment of life!' But in meeting after meeting of Al-Anon I am reminded that I can only work with what I have today. I don't know what tomorrow will bring. What's more, I am probably better off not knowing. If I knew what was coming, I suspect that I would spend all my time trying to run from painful experiences instead of living. I would miss out on so much great stuff. I can trust my Higher Power to lead me through this day so that I will be prepared for the future when it arrives and able to work with whatever it brings. This leaves me time to enjoy the many gifts life has to offer, time that would otherwise be spent worrying. An old maxim says, 'It'll shine when it shines.' If I am willing to listen, I will receive all the information I need when the time is right. 'Just for today' I will know that I am in good hands." (Al-Anon Family Groups, 1992, 271).

Good news for this good day to practice: I am willing to listen.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Disciple of the Autumn Season

You guys probably already know this, but the word "discipline" comes from the word "disciple."

Folks tell me a lot that I'm "disciplined" or they say, "Oh that takes a lot of discipline" about something that I do. One time my dad said I was a workaholic, and I said, "I don't think I'm a workaholic, I think I'm a me-aholic." But, actually, maybe what I am is a disciple of a lot of things.

I am definitely a disciple of the autumn season and its kick-off, the autumn equinox. I stand by pretty much everything fall stands for. Ba-dum ching. Ahh, sorry guys.

According to Nature Speak, "The autumn equinox opens the cycle of the Year of the Soul for one who wants to attune to the true mysteries of Nature. The earth and any individual upon it can prepare themselves for a new cycle of growth within his or her life. As the sun moves into Libra, energy begins to affect the whole surface of the earth. The energies of plants are drawn inward. Within us, energy is drawn inside to cleanse the heart, so that a new birth can unfold at the time of winter solstice. The autumn forces become active, in a manner that triggers opportunities for transition. It is the harvesting time for what has previously passed; a time for purifying the mind and to begin the process of transmuting that which needs [to be] transmuted. During this time of year, the energies can assist us in the following ways: [1] In cleansing and purifying the heart chakra, the seat of much karma [2] In more easily turning our attention from the outer to the inner worlds, thus aligning with spirits of Nature [3] In initiating a time of weighing, measuring, determining values, and decisions for the physical and spiritual life of the individual." (Andrews, 2004, 105-107).

Word up autumn! I love you! I get so happy every time you show up; thanks so much for coming around again.

Friday, September 20, 2013

Turtle Beyer

Have I ever told you guys my mom calls me Turtle? I like my nickname and I sign all my correspondence to her "Love, Turtle," and I even put "Turtle Beyer" in my return address on envelopes. My mom's been calling me Turtle for forever, so it's funny that just the other day it dawned on me to consult Animal Speak about turtles.

A certain friend of mine really liked it one time when I said something like "The truth is always changing." I think I might have been exaggerating a little; I don't know if the truth is always changing but point is, it can.

A good example of this truth changing stuff is that I used to be able to drink two or more cups of coffee in the morning no problem. In fact, two cups of coffee was my standard. The other morning, due to an unintentional change in routine, I only had one cup. It was the best: I got to learn that I'm not an anxious, clumsy, rushing mess naturally for the first few hours of  the day--I've just been drinking too much coffee.

Not only have I been drinking too much coffee, I have forsaken my namesake, "Because of its great age and slow metabolism, the turtle is also associated with longevity. Long life and groundedness within life is part of what is associated with the turtle. It does not move fast. It is as if, on some level, [the] turtle knows it has all the time in the world. Turtle medicine can teach new perceptions about time and our relationship with it." (Andrews, 1993, 364).

These past few mornings with only one cup of coffee, I've thought a little about what I would do if I had all the time in the world, and it's a lot. It's great to feel that I can, and more effectively without an added edgy haste.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Your Truth

"Your truth is trying to have a life here, are you giving it the space to?" - Dr. Sue Morter

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Receiving the Love

Have you ever seen people fight over who is going to paying the bill? I have. It happens in my family all the time. Over the years I have seen all kinds of crazy shenanigans regarding slipping the credit card to the waiter to before anyone else does. It can be a wild ride watching someone insist, only to watch the other person insist back. Isn't the whole point of insisting to put an end to this completely unnecessary battle?

In the past few years, I've become okay with someone else paying, and I've gotten over the feelings of guilt or wanting to say thank you for the rest of my life, too. But, sometimes, there's still something in me that really needs to make sure I pay.

It's not fun to look at, but that "something in me" is my inner control freak. As a child I learned that if I wasn't in charge of everything, it would most likely fall apart. This belief creates a lot of anxiety and tension, which makes sense, because it's a very pure form of fear.

Over the weekend there was this one thing I wanted to make sure I paid for. Trying to control that outcome completely took me out of the moment, and I made a perfectly peaceful situation stressful by rushing it. Looking back now I think I feel worse for creating stress than I would from letting someone else pay. Thank goodness I know how to forgive myself.

I want to remember that I love doing nice things for people. And I want to continue to learn to trust that people like doing nice things for me.

About a month and a half ago, I did some super sweet things for my friend Genevieve, and it was my pleasure to do them. After she saw these sweet things, she said "thank you," but she also said "receiving the love."

Thank YOU, Genevieve. I am learning how to receive the love. I am learning how to receive and to be open to the gift that is this moment. 

Friday, September 6, 2013

My Altar #2

“Love and magic have a great deal in common. They enrich the soul, delight the heart. And they both take practice.”--Nora Roberts

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Indigenous Prayer for Work

So I guess Labor Day is one of those holidays that brings up feelings for me. Even though I don't know too much about its history, I have been inclined for the past two years to reflect on work.

Over the weekend two different people told me that I love my job, which totally pissed me off. Reflecting on what aggravated me, I realized it bothered my ego because they made it seem so simple, and it irritated me because they were making an assumption. I've never told either of them I love my job. Loving teaching yoga for me is a process. I feel like I've been doing it for a long time, and it takes a lot for me to stay inspired. Turns out, the process is simple. I am grateful that I teach yoga, which means I practice loving it; sometimes it’s easy and other times, it’s not.

Tell you one thing real though, this Indigenous Prayer for Work big time reminds me of all there is to be grateful for, that I don’t need a reason, and that it can be simple:

"Great mystery, powers of the water, I send a voice in prayer, I'm asking for entrance through the gates of knowledge; I'm seeking to cross the realms. Spirits of the water, help me be fluid today to move easily with this work. I turn to the setting sun in the place between day and night, asking guidance for intuition. I pray for the right doors to open, for the ability to look within and make good medicine from my gifts so that it supports the work and supports the earth and supports the friends and supports the family. I pray that I can grow within this work and be of service to others. Powers of twilight, I walk in your mystery and open to your gifts that want to be served today through my work. Thank you for the blessing of work, thank you for the blessing of gifts, thank you for the blessing of the earth."