Most especially I love my clients, like a whole whole lot. I don't know what it is, but when people help me, when they're nice to me, or when they're just open, sometimes I can't help but love them so much.
My teacher once said that I'm a "love bug." A few weeks back a lady took my class at Ojo and afterwards she asked me if I was a Pisces. "Yes," I said, getting excited.
"What else does she know about me?" I wondered. "Maybe some stuff I don't even know. Neato."
She guessed I was a Pisces because she's one, too. Then she told me pretty much everything about herself and lots of stuff about other people, too. Her big thing is that sometimes she "cares too much about other people." And speaking of caring too much for other people, she really liked the bartender, thought he was so cute, and she wanted to see him settled. "I have a boyfriend," I replied quickly. She fell quiet.
"This lady out love-bugs even me," I thought.
I have lots of friends and family who I say "I love you" to, and it makes me feel good to say it. I also have people in my life who I love, but it's not necessarily appropriate for me to tell them. If I told my favorite private client "I love you," I think he'd feel shy. And certainly the guy at the smoothie place wouldn't know what to do either. And speaking of my boyfriend, I can't just sit around and text 'I love you' to him all the time. Even though that's how I feel, I've got stuff to do.
I was particularly struck at one of my first B.E.S.T. trainings when the teacher told us the best way to communicate whatever you're feeling is to just feel it in your heart. "Woah," I marveled.
After sitting with this "best way to communicate" stuff for awhile, I actually really believe that certain things do need to be voiced. But for those times when words can't express how much I love someone, and when I don't want to make folks feel shy or uncomfortable, I just feel that love in my heart. It feels good to be able to do something about it; to consciously feel it in my heart.
And I believe that whether or not they hear it from me, the people I love know that I do.