Friday, April 5, 2013

Smoothies and the Highway

A couple of months ago, I was hungry and in a hurry. When I lived in New York, it was a common practice of mine to call in a "to-go" order, but I don't see much of that in Taos. Feeling a little self-conscious, I called my favorite cafe and my favorite barista answered. I explained to him that I was short on time and that's why I was calling in advance and placing my order. When I got to the cafe, my smoothie was ready, the cafe was quiet, but my favorite barista was a wreck. He was acting all stressed out, he bustled me to the front of the line, had me pay and handed me my drink with great haste. As I left, I realized he had taken on my hurry. Somehow, he had felt responsible for me getting to wherever I was going on time. The kind of behavior he exhibited around my rush is something that I have been trying to eradicate within myself. My teacher Jen calls it "co-dependent" behavior. It comes up for a lot of us who have trouble with personal boundaries, or feel somehow responsible for other people's happiness or well-being.

I'm in Rogers, Arkansas right now. (Hi!) I am so grateful to be here; I'm staying at a nice hotel where the seminar I am taking is taking place. I really miss home; my hotel is in a huge parking lot that connects to other huge parking lots that connect to other hotels and restaurants and shops and eventually, a highway. Last night, as I settled into my room, I realized that I could hear the whir of the traffic from all the cars on the nearby heavily traveled road. Actually, I realized that I could even feel the energy created by all of those cars going so fast. Exhausted from travel and in need of a good night sleep, I worried I wouldn't rest well because of all that stuff. After getting under the covers, I rememberd that time with the rush and the smoothie. It's not going to help me or the highway if I take on its energy. I focused on my own breath and even the more peaceful rythyms of my body underneath my breath. I can't remember a time I've had a better night's sleep.

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