Friday, March 22, 2013

This Problem of a Shattered Back Window

When I walked down to my car early this morning, I found that the back window of my station wagon was shattered into a gazillion pieces. It was actually kind of beautiful. For a whole bunch of reasons like: the police report, my insurance company, and Instagram making pictures so darn pretty, I was remiss in not snapping a shot. Most of my day has been dedicated to this problem of a shattered back window. At 11:30 am, after my first conversation with the insurance company, I was ready for a margarita. I am so lucky that the problem wasn't more serious, that I can still drive my car in its current condition and that I had the time in my schedule today to deal, but mostly, I've felt like running and hiding. I wanted to call this whole "today" thing off.

After my first class, I talked to the glass repair place, and realized I had a lot of the phone calling  and jimmy-rigging in my near future. I wanted to cancel, I wanted to skip and I wanted to get a sub.  It's been packed but I've found time for it all. I didn't skip anything, not even the hour of yoga I wanted so badly for myself. I didn't even skip my voice lesson today. When I'm trying and failing to tape heavy plastic to the back of my car and cutting my thumb, I am so grateful for my jobs. I love my jobs because they teach me to be present. The things that I've committed myself to, like teaching yoga and giving B.E.S.T. treatments can not be glossed over. But, actually, it's easy to be in the moment when you're in a gorgeous open studio telling people how to move and breathe at the same time. It's easy to stay positive when focusing on the positive. The 10 minutes while the insurance agent locates the wrong phone number for you to call, those minutes are harder to be present for. It's harder to stay positive when you find BBs from a BB gun amongst the shattered back window glass.  How can we not resist "what is" but also discern when the lady is being totally unhelpful and ask to speak the supervisor?

I don't know. I do know that the only thing that keeps me sane is my meditation practice. Every morning, I sit for 20 minutes and in that 20 minutes, I go out of time. My time out of time keeps me close to all that is magic about life, which, somehow, makes it easier to deal with all that is mundane.

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