Thursday, May 3, 2012

Stories

One thing you should know about me is that I have the coolest, smartest, hippest, most talented, and funniest best friend in the world.

Last weekend my bestie did this seminar called Landmark Forum. I had mixed feelings about her going. I was hopeful she would get something out of it but doubtful that she would. She's already so gosh-darn-smart at knowing stuff. One thing about Melissa and me is that we've done LOTS of "personal work." We've been in therapy, she's practiced silence, I meditate everyday, and sometimes, we even stare into the great big everything.

My teacher Jen told me a long time ago that it's best not to make up stories about what other people are thinking. I agree with her. For years now I have saved so much time by doing my best not to think (or obsess) about what another person may or may not be thinking or feeling. I had heard about the Forum, and what I had gathered before Melissa inside-jobbed it is that it's also about not telling stories. And probably, some other stuff.

Melissa prefaced what she told me about her weekend with something like, "You already know all this stuff." What a doll. But there was a big layer I hadn't gotten yet. Thing is, I am pretty good at not telling stories about other people. However, I am a non-stop-up-early-in-the-morning storyteller telling stories to MYSELF about MY SELF. I do it all the time. One of the things I tell myself all the time up there in my mind is that I am so busy. Who me? Yeah, I'm really busy right now. Slammed. Barely have time. Basically, what makes me busy is how busy I am thinking about how busy I am.

This week there's a lot that's actually written in my calendar. There's work, studying, fun, exercising, appointments, and people to call back. But what's different about this week as I move from one thing to another or write a new date in my calendar? I'm not obsessing about the business of it. I'm just moving through it.

And let me tell you, just like there's a way to not obsess about so-and-so, there's a way to not obsess about yourself.

2 comments:

jesgale said...

best link ever.
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Ashleigh Beyer said...

I have no idea what you guys are talking about. I thought we were here to talk about petroleum.

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