Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Voice B

Sometimes, whoopsie daisies, without even realizing it, I take on someone else's anxiety. This is not that someone else's fault, they just might come up to me and be like, "OH MY GOD, this thing is SO SCARY, I'll never be able to do it because it's SO EXPENSIVE and the economy might END so you really shouldn't do that, you know, its SOOOOO dangerous." Because I am usually unconsciously assuming that everybody else is smarter than I am, sometimes this stuff gets to me. Without noticing, I might start following a train of thought something like, "Yeah, maybe I WILL get pinkeye, I guess it is feasible those barbed wire fences are there to trap us, I need to learn how to build a fire out of the recycling bin in the back of my car..."

Sheesh.

In other news, kinda, know what really works for me?

Talking about what I'm grateful for:

I'm grateful for the awareness that I've been able to cultivate that NOTICES I'm listening that voice, let's call it Voice A inside my head.

AND I am grateful for learning how to trust that awareness and the voice that counters Voice A, let's call it Voice B . Voice B is more familiar to me, it even knows how to talk me through forgiving myself for listening to Voice A.

I am grateful I am learning to trust Voice B, it never talks about barbed wire, its says stuff like, "It'll work out exactly the way that its meant to."

ALSO, I'm grateful for learning how to trust Voice B when says something like, "Since there's maybe going to be a snowstorm, I'll enlist a buddy to drive down the mountain with me. It'll be more fun to make peace with the elements together anyways."

Maybe I sound looney, but with all the fear that's flying around out there, it feels better to vibe with Voice B. I want to feel peace no matter who's talking to me about what. Perhaps, that's just me.

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