Thursday, September 29, 2011

Oy Vey!

Yesterday I networked at yoga, changed my address at the bank, got our car fixed, paid my taxes and struggled deeply with a decision to commit to a training program. It felt like a big day and it also happened to cost a lot of money. At sundown, my best friend put a damp dish towel over her head and lit the candles for our soul's new year. We ate apples and honey and drank wine she had blessed. As the evening came to a close I spoke with my teacher about my decision and gained clarity to release into faith. It was a step forward. But then I listened to a voicemail from the looney-but-deep-down-lovely-freaked-out-ex-boyfriend of my mom's who sold us the car. He had heard of the work that had been done on the car and assured me that I had been hood-winked. Oh no! Was it a step back? His message brought up a lot of fear in me. I lay down, listened to my breath and starting looking right into that fear. I went through the steps of the day, how I felt when I was told what was wrong with the car, (YOU GUYS! The car had been making a crazy noise! It needed to be fixed!) and how I made the decision of what needed to be addressed and what didn't. There is no reason for me to doubt myself and there is CERTAINLY no reason for me to let anybody else's fear jump into my brain. For crying out loud! The Jewish calendar totally had my back on this one! It was a perfect day to fix what no longer worked and move forward with what does! It can feel like a battle (I love you Bhagavad Gita!) a LOT of the time of fear vs faith. It has been my path and practice to keep coming back to faith so that's what I'll do. Nobody's out there to get me! We're in this thing together! Happy New Year! Today I will make a phone call and commit to that training.

No comments:

Post a Comment